Saturday, 11 April 2015
My Decent Into Madness. Or. The Life of A Family Man.
(The picture above is to both depict my insomnia, my constant being awoken, as well as my descent into madness in general)
This blog began as a Facebook status update rant that ran just a little too long for Facebook. It was written in response to a Facebook status update by one of my Facebook friends who was lamenting the fact that Facebook status updates were so misleadingly optimistic and it gave the unfair impression that others lives were going so well while us parents were swimming in a sea of misery.
This is just to dispell that myth and to share with you whats going on in the Tite world :).
Just to let you know you arn't alone ;).
All 3 of my kids as well as myself have been sick since Easter.
Luckily both myself and the eldest really only have cold like symptoms. Which is runny nose, cough and general malaise. Not bad.
Unfortunately my youngest two are just terrible. Both of them have been exhibiting flu like symptoms since Easter. So vomiting, diarrhea and fever with zero appetite.
So just a little stroll through what the wife's and my life has been like lately.
I'm awoken at about 630am to a diarrhea ridden diaper and cranky kids who due to the illness cry and fight amonst themselves and when asked whats wrong they very angrily yell "I don't know!".
This continues to about 9:30, after numerous attempts at getting them to eat or drink anything and the use of tylenol to bring down the fever, at which point I decide its time for nap time.
The youngest goes down well enough but the middle child, who is in desperate need of a nap fights it with super over the top screaming that she doesn't want a nap.
(I learn a couple days in to just have the middle child nap with daddy. This ended up being very beneficial as it allowed us to bond and I actually got "I Love you Daddy's" from her. Which was a welcome change from the I hate you's I got with the previous attempts at napping and just general anger, frustration and loss of patience throughout the day. It also allowed me the much needed sleep that was desperately needed, not just due to my own cold, but because of what is to come in the evening).
After a couple of hours the kids wake and the mandatory screamathon resumes. Only this time it is enhanced by their confused awakening that is brought on by their nap. They dont know why they are currently groggy but they sure as heck are going to blame and give me the brunt of their anger. Also at this point the Tylenol's effects is wearing down and their fever has resumed as well as a new 100 pack of diapers needs to be opened to deal with the new onslaught of diarrhea changes.
The fun continues throughout the day while I attempt to make them lunch where they ask for one thing only to be extremely upset that I didn't make them something completely different that they never hinted at. Or, and this really does happen, Lorelei has decided that one of her crusts is falling off and has ruined the whole sandwich and now has to shout to the heavens about it in the blood curled screams that only a toddler has the skills to perform.
Meanwhile throughout the day i've changed the linen, blankets and clothes numerous times due to both vomit and diarrhea (any new parents out there be sure to invest in mattress protectors if you have a mattress you value).
On one of these many trips down to the basement I notice that there is small pool of water sitting in the corner of the unfinished room. Great a bunch of snow must have melted by my downstairs window and seeped through.
Nah I can't be that lucky.
Nope no water coming from the window which means that its coming from some unknown location. So I investigate the foundation wall in the unfinished room for cracks.
Nah I can't be that lucky.
Nope its coming from a crack in the foundation in the finished portion of my basement and I have to tear out the drywall and 2/4's to fully expose the crack.
On top of that I have to tear up the carpet as it was exposed for too long and I didn't want to risk a mold infestation. I also has to cut off the legs of some of my shelves that also had a moldy smell to them due to their own exposure. And also had to throw out a mattress I had in the basement that I used for guests.
Luckily (ha! Not really lucky) i've dealt with this before. I had to fix up a crack in my foundation last year. That time it was in the unfinished side and I saved a bunch of money by figuring out how to do it myself.
But now that there is a second crack its clear that there is an overriding issue that I need to address that is causing multiple cracks. Most likely its due to the lawn that I put in a couple of years back that likely changed the elevation and is sending the water right to my foundation. Or not. Maybe its the french drains are clogged up and I need to dig down outside to clean them out. Or maybe its a whole host of other reasons i'm not aware of.
The point is this. I'm dealing with and having this stressing me out and on my mind while dealing with the crap show (literally) all day.
But luckily its 4pm and Amy is home from work. Which means I get to escape and go to work myself! Freedom.
But its short lived. I get home at about 11:30pm and arrive to my two youngest taking turns pooping. Lorelei in her bed (I think i'm on my 300th diaper change. I should really look into the guiness book of records. I must be coming close now), and Paige on the toilette who is screaming that both her tummy (cramps) and bum were hurting (and yours would too if you pooped as much as she was).
Btw a completely aside tip for non parents. Have baby wipes. They arn't just for babies. When you get your pleasant bout of the flu you will thank me. After your 1000th wipe of even the softest of toilette paper it'll feel like sandpaper. Get the baby wipes. Your bum will thank me.
Oh and i'm truly running back and forth between the two of them as Paige insists I hold her while she is pooping and Lorelei is both waking up to her screams as well as her own poop.
poop poop poop. Just thought i'd add a couple more mentions of poop in this blog in case that's another Guinness record i'm nearing.
This continues until about 3am at which point I give up and Amy takes over. Until about 630am when she goes to work and I get to start the day anew and repeat this for about a week!!!!!
Here is how this starts out as a parent. First your natural protective loving instincts kick in. But then it begins to combat your sleep deprivation.
You quickly go from loving and caring to just purely pissed off all the time. And i'm a very naturally happy, patient person who has a pretty high tolerance for putting up with crap (this time both literally and figuratively).
I start off just feeling pain for my daughters pain where I actually think back to when she was newly born in the hospital in the intensive care unit having her blood picked. I just wanted to take her pain then as I wanted to now. I also think of every moment that I didn't hold, hug and tell her I love you to be a wasted moment as my poor little girls are just so precious.
Thats how it starts.
How it ends is with me telling a toddler to just shut up after she picks her 592nd screaming fight with her sister for no reason (except for the probable headache that she doesn't understand why she has).
Sounds like a pretty horrible thing for a person to do eh? It is and as bad as it must be for my daughter to hear me lose my temper like that. I'm positive it pales in comparison to the shame, heartache, and absolute devastation I feel after I walk away for 5 minutes to clear my head.
Another new parent tip. Walking a way is not only a viable option but a heavily advisable option before you self destruct. Even if your child is screaming his or her head off sometimes you really do just need 5 minutes to regain perspective and patience. You'll come back with your guilt ridden shame forcing you to become loving again and stop shouting.
Now this whole saga is occuring when my monday to friday evening job is being shuffled around whereby i'll be working morning shifts on an upcoming weekend. This coincides with my 2nd job I already work on weekends and so now I have to wake up early and do one job and then immediately following that job work the other job in the late evening.
I have a terrible issue with insomnia and general sleep routines. I was hoping to spend this week getting used to getting to bed early so that by the weekend i'll have managed to get a good routine going so that i'd be able to do double shifts on more then 5 hours of sleep. Clearly my 3am sleep times have conflicted with this plan. Instead i'm sitting here stressed out at 1am writing the blog knowing full well that i'll be lucky if I get 3 hours of sleep.
So ya Erin. Life isn't always peachy despite what all those Facebook updates seem to suggest.
***This blog has not been proof read, edited, checked for flow, cohesiveness or ability for others to understand what has been written***
BECAUSE I GOTTA GO CHANGE ANOTHER FRIGGIN DIAPER!